Friday, May 17, 2019

Hopeful Thinking - Saturday, May 18, 2019 - What Are We Praying For?

Praying gets a bad rap. Especially since it’s a fairly effective tool when used properly. For many, however, prayer is so deeply tied to negative feelings about organized religion. Hurt, rejection, judgement, compulsory words recited as punishment. These feelings become entangled with the word prayer and work against it.

But the word itself is neutral from all that drama. It innocently floats above the goings-on unaware. It cannot be blamed for anything. It’s just a word.

The word means simply, to ask. It is distinct from the practice of meditation in that prayer is an act of reaching out toward a Something we perceive to be outside of ourselves. It is a deliberate connection-making. Meditation is another part of the process in that it reaches inward, preparing the being within for the task of reaching out. Meditation calms the fervent physical body so that we are better able to define for ourselves the focus of our prayer. Quiet waters are clearer.

All of us have to decide what it is, outside of ourselves, which receives the prayer we make. It can be a god you describe for your own purposes. It can be the Great Central Source. It can be the God of Abraham. It can be your front lawn. It can be the great invisible web itself which connects us all. The concept of a “Higher Power” is not about height, it’s about frequency. Seek the highest frequency available to you and orient your prayer toward that. Belief in a literal God is not specifically required.

Even the old school traditional idea of God allows “him” to be so vast as to not at all be bothered by the direction we orient our worship, so long as it be toward unity. Unity is the goal of all faiths. Which means it’s not the “to whom” part that matters most. It’s the act of asking itself which plugs us into whatever the Ultimate Reality may be. We don’t have to understand it to belong to the process.

Let go of defining God. Especially for others. Even better, let go of the definitions which have been imposed upon you. There’s a reason for the rule against idolatry. It’s good advice, really. Because a statue of God is only one single view of the divine, from only a three-dimensional angle, of conclusions drawn during a single moment, forever locked as a concrete definition. Hardly adequate. Don’t buy it. Definitions of God are just old, dusty idols from someone else’s altar. Pray to none of them.

When we pray on behalf of someone else it’s tempting to ask God to heal them, or to save them, or help them. And while I do not believe these types of prayers go unheard, they may not be the most spiritually efficient way to frame our desire. I have a gut feeling that how we frame our acts of prayer matters. It’s not the same as something we can do right or wrong; there’s no “wrong” way to pray. It’s more about the degree of effectiveness when we do it. It’s about accounting for our biases and narrow fields of vision when it comes to deciding, and therefore praying for, what we think is “best” for a given situation. We frequently don’t know what’s best. And we feel like our prayers don’t matter because they aren’t answered in the way we expect.

Don’t be overly specific. We don’t know what we don’t know. For those who believe there is a divine plan in the works, don’t let your prayers work against it. They won’t get very far. Your desire will be heard, but will not be fulfilled. If God has a plan, it will likely not be thwarted. Pray in favor of the unknown divine plan, whatever it may be.

When we pray for someone else we can hardly know what’s really at stake. When in doubt—which will always be more often than not—consider simply sending love to a person you wish to be healed or relieved. Consider your prayer to be a blessing for them, amplified by your conscious connection with whatever Higher Power you pray to. Imagine the inner strength they already possess expanding into its highest form, relieving them of a measure of suffering, but not altering their path. Imagine your love literally flowing into them like water, which always finds its way.

Pray for yourself as well, of course. But don’t let your expectations get in the way of it. Buddhism teaches us the practice of nonattachment. The concept can sometimes give off the understandably confusing impression that we are expected to exist without desire. But we can be attached to a positive outcome without attaching ourselves to the way that outcome will be achieved. Don’t define for the Universe how best to fulfill your desires. We might very well miss our limousine while looking for the bus we have asked for.

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