This is an illusion, in most ways. For we are all deeply connected to one another whether we are willing to recognize it or not. But the borders we have drawn around our own ideologies are very real. We have a hard time listening to others. It feels unsafe.
The rhetoric surrounding the subject of how to improve the quality of our world—and for whom—has revealed a deep layer of resentment on the part of those who feel left behind by social progress. You can see it in the rage of their tweets and posts. You can feel it in the way we avoid discussing it with the people we love the most for fear that our differences will divide us.
I have always believed that history does not repeat itself in the way we think it does. It is not a wheel, but a spiral. And we have been here before. Almost.
The division in American culture today rings very familiar to our history. History is repeating itself right now in front of our very eyes. But those eyes are not the same as they once were. They have seen more. They are now wiser by orders of magnitude.
In the mid-19th century, when our country perceived no alternative but to enter into civil war with itself over the institution of slavery, families were torn apart by the differences they felt. Brother against brother, we went to war over it. We killed and wounded one another by the thousands.
There are those who worry that we have now returned to that symbolic battlefield. And in many ways, we have. But we are not fighting with the same weapons anymore. And the likelihood of going into literal battle, with weapons intended to kill, is not very probable. We are in a heated battle of words, for the most part, with some tragic exceptions.
Yet from here, we may go in any direction we choose. We can continue to insulate ourselves against the opinions of others or we can welcome them. Both options are painful, but only one of them makes the world right; perhaps in a way humanity has not yet experienced. What future is in store for us?
The plain and simple truth is that our society lacks empathy. We need practice. We are not taught the skill of empathy in school. We are not even very often taught it in church. And when we are, it often is laden with a sense of superiority we give ourselves in misplaced gratitude for not being “like them.“ We love to pat ourselves on the back for being so advanced and aware.
While we cannot change the world by ourselves, we can alter the experience we have of it. We can lessen the burden on our own hearts. We can choose to listen to things we have previously shut out.
Moreover, we can use our imagination to perceive the hardships faced by those we claim to disagree with or even hate. We can use our imagination to glimpse their humanity.
Pick someone right now in your mind whom you physically and morally detest. Wonder about how well they slept last night. Wonder about what the first moments of their day were like. Think about their childhood and be curious. Imagine what they have had to eat today. Imagine the health of their body. Imagine the love they feel, even if you can’t see it. See if it’s possible for you to project love toward them. If you can do it, you have mastered all that you need in order to change the world forever.
But this is a lesson that is more for you than the world. The world will take care of itself in direct proportion to the ease of your own heart. You just worry about you. And the best way to worry about you is to find a way to be at peace with others. Allow difference to become an asset in your mind. Find someone who thinks differently than you do and be genuinely and respectfully curious about them.
I wish that empathy was taught in elementary school as a required subject. I wish the kids were given an opportunity to expand their imaginations around the lives of others. The future would be in good hands if only our children could reach across the divide which adult arms are often too short to span.
But in the absence of that, practice empathy anyway. Use your imagination. Dwell in the humanity of others whom you consider to be inhuman. It is there. I promise.
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