Flawless isn’t a goal or an accomplishment. It is a state of being too far above our pay grade to comprehend. Seeking flawlessness is like a dog chasing its tail. It’s already there. No need to work so hard to obtain it.
Part of the problem is the way we think about the word flaw. We don’t really know which of our characteristics are truly flawed and which ones are more properly categorized as features. Where is the line in the sand? We would love to know, but is that search worth it? Stop chasing your tail.
So now that we have dispensed with the need to seek flawlessness, let’s grapple with the alternative: acceptance of things about ourselves which may each walk like a flaw and talk like a flaw but might be more appropriately thought of as doorways.
It’s difficult to acknowledge being wrong. You’re probably flinching right now thinking about it. But ‘wrong’ is just a loaded term for the formerly incorrect. Let it go and you can enjoy being right again.
The obstacle to welcoming new information is our ego, of course. We hate to be wrong, even at the expense of being glad to now have the facts. Forgiving ourselves is the hardest part. Especially for those who got in a lot of trouble for being wrong as a child. Some reflexively resist ever being in error or failing or being incorrect. Constructive criticism can be triggering. Pray for ease.
As much as no one likes being wrong, it is in reality a freedom. Allow that thought to be a part of your disappointment or discomfort. Make amends, if necessary. Take responsibility if the error has caused harm. Be humble. Few people die from admitting they were wrong. You’ll get over it.
The decision to be nonresistant to our own mistakes requires the employ of a special characteristic of our nature. We rely on it when we want something badly enough that it eclipses our fear of ever being able to obtain it or the harm that may befall us in trying. It is courage.
Pray for courage, not perfection. You are already perfect. Pray for something more applicable. Pray for what it takes to be the most at ease, the most comfortable, the most resplendent version of human being you are capable of achieving in this lifetime. That takes courage. Pray for that.
Even if you don’t know what’s holding you back, pray for the courage it takes to find out. It will come to you. And so will the information you seek. It will come to you because you will finally be ready for it.
When we choose to present a guise of flawlessness to the world, we are not only giving a false impression, we are attracting falseness with it. It does no one any good. Honesty takes faith, courage and patience, primary with oneself. Honesty attracts honesty.
We don’t like people to know we are not quite as polished or solid as we would like to feel. We pretend we have no problems. We pretend we don’t need air freshener in the bathroom.
Vulnerability may seem a weakness, but it is the only strength a village has. We must be vulnerable to one another to thrive. We’ll never learn anything if we don’t sound it out to others. That is intrinsic to human nature. Confession is good for the soul.
But real confession takes courage. Own your mistakes and learn from them. People respect growth. They respect humility. Gain ground in people’s eyes, and certainly your own, simply by being less resistant to the experience of making mistakes and having the courage to own them. Unclench. Your fear of failure is failing you.
Flawlessness is inherent. It can be neither given nor taken away. Don’t spend time and energy proving it. Spend it on the quest.
Imagine courage for yourself. Pray for the courage you need to embark upon a quest you are still not too old to make. The journey itself will open doorways within you that have been patiently waiting all your life just to hear you knock.
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