Back in the early 90s I attended the American Academy of Dramatic Art in New York City. I enjoyed nearly 20 years of being a performing arts professional.
I learned an incredible amount about the human experience in the process of learning how to emulate it. But it was of the craft of acting itself from which I learned a cornerstone idea about life. Namely, that stuff always goes wrong and how you face it is all that matters.
Of course I don’t say this to be a pessimist. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. This prayer is more of an idea about non-resistance. Because things always do happen. Rarely does everything go according to plan. On stage or in real life. And sometimes surprising things occur when our expectations have not been met.
There are many ways of reacting to a sudden change of plans. We can certainly overreact. We can also thoughtfully respond. How easily are you thrown by a sudden change?
In the process of acknowledging that stuff always goes wrong, the “actor’s prayer“ was born. It goes as follows: “Please let something go wrong tonight so that I may have a real moment.” It’s saying that good stuff can occur when we are in the process of responding to sudden change. On stage, it means that someone has forgotten their line, or a prop is missing or broken, or a costume malfunctions, etc. How that problem is resolved in real time with an audience full of people watching is where our genuine creativity is revealed. There is simply no time to second-guess oneself.
That prayer was a revelation to me. In part, because at first blush it seems like actors are actually asking for things to go wrong. And I suppose, in a sense, they are. But not for the sake of the difficulty inherent in things going awry. But for the opportunity to respond in a creative and agile way that further cements their professionalism as an actor, gets the play back on track, and expands upon our ability to be fully present in the here and now.
It also relieves some of the pressure from having to exist in a state of anxiety during the very brief span of seconds in which a solution must be devised. The prayer implies a thought that we are aware that not all things go according to plan, and that it just might be a good thing when they don’t. So be mindful of and patient with the curveballs the Universe throws at us. Because there could be an unexpected hidden gem unearthed in those precious moments.
How do you respond to the pressure of sudden change? Do you internalize mistakes? Do you ruminate on them, feeling guilty, or regretful, or like a failure? If I asked you directly how helpful you think those negative attitudes might be toward achieving a solution, what would be you answer?
The reason nearly all spiritual practice recommends we be at peace whenever possible is because peace is the best state from which to resolve crises with the least amount of hassle, if not the most amount of input from our divine spark. We are more intuitive when we are calm. We are funnier. We are more creative. We are literally smarter.
Praying for something to go wrong so that we may have a “real moment” is more about the real moment than it is about something going wrong. It is an acknowledgment that we are infinitely creative when we maintain an ease about life and its monkey wrenches.
I can say for my own part that, as an actor, some of my most memorable life experiences have been from moments where something went off the rails while an audience was watching. I can say with confidence that it was during these moments in which I learned who I really am.
Now, as a minister, I am faced with these moments nearly every Sunday. I face them with ease and assurety. I remain calm because that’s what the moment requires of me. Not simply because I am officiating a contemplative experience, but because panicking has never resolved a problem, nor has it created a seamless transition from the expected to the unexpected and back again.
Life right now is a series of things going wrong with an audience in full view. Every facet of our culture has been thrown a curve ball in real time and begs for solutions that are laden with compassion and creativity and desire to see our neighbor as ourselves.
Give yourself permission to be at ease with change. Recognize that within these moments exists the potential to discover new talents you never realized you had, new ways of responding you never thought you’d be capable of, and a level of grace you never dared to dream for yourself. You are more than entitled to it.
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