Hopeful Thinking - Saturday, October 21, 2017 - Cut Yourself Some Slack

  People often think I’m quite a busy person. I do tend to give that impression. Although I’m certain it’s more indicative of a lack of efficiency than actual accomplishment. Looking busy isn’t the same as getting stuff done. People see me driving all over town in my ramshackle red minivan and they don’t realize the reason they keep seeing me is because I keep forgetting where I’m driving. The only truly busy thing about me is my mind.
    I remind myself, however, that with my busy mind comes both good and less-good. The people who love me remind themselves the same, thankfully. But that’s how we all remain loving and hospitable. We choose to accept both the good and the less-good, even the bad sometimes in those we love. Yet we don’t grant ourselves the same grace or mercy that we often give to our loved ones. Or worse, we give it to no one.
    I was at the box store the other day chatting with my friend Linda. She asked me how I survive it all. My answer was to play a little hookie every day. It’s the slack I cut myself on a daily basis to balance out the general stress of a busy life, efficient or otherwise. I don’t check out of life, but I do try to keep my priorities straight. Keeping things in perspective is a spiritual task all to itself.
    I actually try to think about what is best for me while simultaneously aware of who I am, who I love and what my calling is. I include it all together in  an attitude I think of as ‘mindful selfishness.’ I think about what I need in order to be the most healthy, loving version of myself. Sometimes it’s hookie, sometimes it’s cookie. But it’s always being mindful to take a regular and intentional step back from the heavy expectations I place upon myself. I try to remember that not only do I sometimes deserve respite, I also sometimes deserve reward. Hence, the cookie.
    We think we are selfish people, and in many ways we are, but we often feel pretty guilty when we think of ourselves first. Even when we need to. However, we must think of ourselves in relationship with the ones we love. Not them first, not you first. We are not islands. We are boats in a harbor. When we think of only ourselves, that is quite different than thinking of ourselves first.
    The third option is thinking of everyone first. It’s the hardest because it starts with us, but with a mindful awareness of how our actions affect others. It’s not my boat first or your boat first, it’s the harbor. I place my energy on the needs of the harbor and I end up personally with the best result. But so does my neighbor. So do all the boats in the entire harbor. Even the ones I don’t know personally. Even the ones that don’t deserve it. Not my call.
    So as an act of greater faith toward bigger accomplishments I play a little hookie everyday. A few moments here and there. If a meeting gets canceled I don’t fill it with something else. Even if I have a huge list that day. Because the fact of the matter is, the world will get a better version of me if I cut myself a little slack on a regular basis. If I recognize that just because my soul doesn’t growl like my stomach, it doesn’t require less attention.
    I try to remember that I must not resist my nature, but work with it. I must be forgiving of myself. Compassionate to the wounded parts of me and the way those parts take over sometimes. I need to remember that radical hospitality begins with being radically willing to know myself, warts and all. I endeavor to have faith enough to know that when I make myself better, I am a better neighbor. I am equipped to be a better human. And if I play just a little hookie everyday, I am a much better servant to this world.