Saturday, May 26, 2018

Hopeful Thinking - Saturday, May 26, 2018 - How to Make Love

One might assume this column is about sex. The answer could be sort-of yes. Why not? But more. In this instance I’m specifically talking about how we literally manufacture love.
            To be honest, I’d never really thought about love before as something which could be “made” in that sense. But as it occurred to me I couldn’t seem to deny that love was something about which I couldn’t imagine a finite amount either. Does it seem plausible there is a fixed and stable volume of love in the universe? Is there a rule we can’t make more?
            Of course there’s the argument that an infinite amount of love exists and we over time and ages learn how to tap into it; in essence we are reminded of our eternal connection to a pre-existing love. But that doesn’t mean we don’t also make more of it. Or, that it doesn’t have value to frame it that way for practical use.
            What would it mean to add to the quantity of love in the universe? I don’t know. But something tells me the pursuit has a value which will reveal itself when practiced. There’s enough spiritual logic out there to suggest it isn’t a pointless effort. While it’s likely impossible for humanity to ever truly comprehend the full cause and effect relationship between our actions and the character and quantity of love in the universe, that should not prevent us from seeking truth.
            To begin, we can put the theory into practical use as an experiment.
            What do you think about joy? Can you use your imagination to think of joy as a thing, a literal substance? What about a personality? It’s sometimes useful to anthropomorphize an idea to test it against our humanity for better understanding. So long as we remember that to humanize something in order to understand is equivalent to a pair of training wheels only. Eventually, the desire to understand must go deeper and the training wheels come off. Knowing this, proceed.
            What is Joy like as a person? What does she crave in life? What does she prioritize? What does she know is truly unimportant in the broad scheme of things and, without hesitation, discards? What does she choose to endure, and how well, in order to achieve a more profound sense of herself? What is the purpose of Joy?
            I ask because we should be more purposeful about creating joy in our lives. Not only that, but also allowing the joy we already manage to experience to soak in. To literally allow ourselves to marinate in the little micro-pockets of pleasure every one of us experiences every day. Even in the most difficult of days and lives, there are pinstreaks of light which shine all around us if we look. Take whatever light you can get. Keep it. Remember it. Water it like a seed. Attend to it.
Anything that makes you laugh, especially when in despair, memorize the feeling. Everything that works out well, even making it through a green light, someone holding the door for you, making it all the way through the day without fighting, relish it. Be grateful for it. Do things on purpose to cause those moments to occur. Write about them. Draw pictures of them.
Yes, grieve for things you have lost, for friends and loved ones, disappointments and failures. But let the grief wash through you rather than resist it. Then calmly return your attention to joy. The grief will still take its course, but it will be muted and more likely to unfold rather than crash open. The ebbs and flows more even.
Ancient philosophies would anticipate that more joy occurs when more joy is noticed. There is something else. Joy is correspondent with love. Joy is the gateway. Laughter opens the heart chakra. What enters? More importantly, what exits? Joy is the button which makes the love. Make yourself into a factory of it.
Make a point of noticing the good moments, no matter how small. Give your attention to pleasure as fully as you can for as long as you can. Dwell on it. Use all the expertise you have gained by dwelling on the negative so much. It’s the same talent. Use it for good.
This experiment is ongoing. How will you know if it’s working? You’ll have to decide that for yourself. But remember, every seed that is watered, takes its own time to grow. Be patient and steadfast. You have the power to recognize and create a greater quantity—a greater experience—of love in this world. Quite possibly the universe as well. Take advantage of it for your own sake. Lean into it. Put it on a t-shirt.
Making love is literally that. Especially when you’re doing it right.

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