Hopeful Thinking - Saturday, May 5, 2018 - Think Better of Others

It takes practice to use our powers of assumption for good. We assume the negative. By and large, people are not mean. People are hurt.

There are reasons we’re more comfortable assuming the negative. For one, misery never lets us down. It’s reliable and predictable. Its loyalty quickly fills the vacuum left by departing happiness.

Second, we never feel the need to be prepared for the best. We feel we are always ready for good. And since we are advised to only hope for the best, yet be prepared for the worst, we use our energy on preparation. But how much of it do we spend on hope? How much airtime do you give to constructive fantasy and wonder? Without it life becomes a cycle of expecting and preparing for the worst, receiving it, and then patting our backs for the wise predictions we made.

We love to assume. Perhaps it is better to say we are instinctively compelled to assume. We are wired to evaluate data in order to draw conclusions. It’s a survival instinct. But our biological wiring can get us into trouble. It can lead us into the temptation to draw assumptions based on fear rather than something more creative.

There is a preponderance of spiritual and philosophical logic from myriad cultures and traditions which all suggest that what we think, we are. What we believe, we perceive. What we have today is result of what we were thinking yesterday. Every text from the Bible to the Mahabharata to the works of Socrates engages us to use our gifts of manifestation. They all teach us that we are constantly using our powers of asking and receiving; use them wisely.

It feels as if it’s an idea being whispered into the ear of humanity all at once, for a purpose. Listen to it. It is saying: You are magnificent. Do something more constructive with it.

Around the dinner table last night we were talking about ego. The existence of the ego is biological. It is an indicator of our species’ communal nature. We, like it or not, care what other people think. We evaluate (literally examine the value of) ourselves in reference to the rest of the human tribe. We compare, compete and cross-analyze humanity because it is how all communal species survive.

Ego is also either a seed or a timebomb. It depends upon how careful the words and actions are around us as children. Words of support and empowerment foster the good seed of our ego. The one where we seek and receive affirmation through positive action. Words of discouragement early in life can germinate the ego into a craving for recognition—at any cost.

When we engage with people, what are we most likely to assume from them? What motives do we assign to their actions? We feel safe in saying that someone said this or did that because they are a jerk, because they hate so-and-so, because they are evil. But those are not reasons. They are cop-outs. We too easily fill in the gaps of our knowledge with the negative.

Every extreme human response, each so-called disproportionate reaction, is proportional to something. We never know the full story. What does it hurt to fill in the gaps with something that encourages a sense of compassion in you? What does it hurt to assume the guy tailgating you really has to go to the bathroom?

There’s a reason in favor of this. It makes your life easier. And it tends to draw better outcomes in our wider lives because we manifest what we project.

It’s a lot of work to maintain hostile motives for every action we don’t understand. It’s easy to be manipulated by fear. Between fear and hope, fear is the only one actively trying to persuade us. It talks the loudest. Hope is confident of its place, its ego is in check. Fear is always trying to maintain ground, using its creativity for conquest. Hope has no agenda but to wait for us to figure it out.

Assume a divine spark exists in all of us. It is only covered from view by layers of varying transparency and thickness. The spark is easier to see in some, but it exists in all. Remember that. And use your instinctive powers of creative assumption to compassionately wonder why someone behaves as they do. Perhaps there is a better way of engaging it.

If you have to assume something, assume that a win/win solution always exists. If you aren’t seeing it yet, love it more. Use your powers for good. The answer will come to you.