Right now we all have our eyes on the future. And yet, at the same time, we are so focused on what’s going on right now, we forget (or don’t know how) to plan ahead. We have anxiety about it because we don’t know what’s going to happen next. We don’t know what the “new normal” is going to be like. We don’t know what will emerge from this strange and fearful time. Our eyes may be looking ahead, frantically even, but they’re not seeing much. The view is too dim for us to even make out the edges of it. Our predictions are flimsy at best.
But we crave to know what’s going to happen next. We feel a fair bit of anxiety when we don’t. We rely on people who forecast the future in all kinds of ways. Meteorologists tell us what they think the weather is going to be like. Political analysts tell us what they think is going to happen next in politics. Historians and sociologists tell us what they think will happen next in our society. All of these predictions are based on what has happened in the past.
This is called prognostication. It’s a fancy word that means to foretell the future. And people make a lot of money by studying the past so meticulously that they are given authority on predicting our future. But they are usually off, to one degree or another. Now even more so. Frustratingly, no one knows what’s going to happen next.
This is utterly terrifying to many people. But it doesn’t have to be that way. If we stop putting so much energy on trying to anticipate the moving target of our future and put it on making the most out of what’s happening here and now, the future will evolve on its own. Just like it always does. But the character of that future could evolve in ways which truly benefit us, if we shift our expectations a bit. Not lower them, just turn them a little bit in a different direction to make it a little easier.
There are several contemplative spiritual traditions that ask us to be mindful of our “attachments.” Many believe that attachment is the root of all suffering. I think there’s some value to that. However, it’s also important to remember that we are always attached to things, and people, outcomes, dreams. We humans are constantly desiring, imagining, or despairing. (Yes, we even attach ourselves to despair. Despair is more constant than hope. It never fails to come when called.)
So the advice of nonattachment can be misleading because we feel that we must become like robots who only respond to stimuli and answer questions yet never form attachments to any one or thing or idea. It makes us feel as if the advice of nonattachment is not to love. We give up on practicing nonattachment because it makes no sense to us. We feel like failures before we’ve even begun.
The trick is to first be okay with the fact that we are creatures of attachment. Become nonresistant to that. Attachment gives us meaning and value in our lives. We simply cannot give it up anymore than we could our hearts or livers. Our ability to form attachments is part of our humanity.
But, another, perhaps even more crucial part of our humanity is our free will. We have a choice about how we perceive things. We can choose our attachments far more than we realize. We can shift our thinking about the future, as well as more mindfully choose the parts of it to which we can safely attach ourselves.
This may still sound a bit confusing. But think about it. What are you attached to? A sense of freedom or a particular new car that you think will be the only way to get the freedom you want? If you’re attached to the car, you’re more likely to be disappointed than if you’re attached to the idea of freedom in general. Instead of placing all your focus on achieving the new car at all costs, if you're attaching yourself to a sense of freedom, you may be open enough to discover the car was never going to manage it. It’s just a car. Freedom comes from within.
Let’s face it, the ground is constantly shifting beneath our feet right now. It’s been happening for some time; long before the pandemic hit. This is just the latest in a string of world-changing events that we have experienced over the past several years. Sometimes I see old news clips from a few years ago (heck, from a few weeks ago!) which seem naïve now, already outdated. Where were the prognosticators then? Very little of what they predicted has happened in the way they imagined. Sometimes it’s close. But not enough to give us unilateral confidence.
Those who evolve for the better during this time will be those who place their attachments on different things. They place their attachments on the preparation for tomorrow. Not for doomsday, but for a golden age. They put their stock and value on emotional readiness, traditional knowledge, bodily preservation, inner strength, and compassion for others. These are the toolbox for the new normal to come.
And so I have a piece of advice for you. Floss. Yup. Floss every day. Put your attachment on what will best serve you in any future to come. Your smile. Your health. Your wellness. There’s prayer in this activity alone. There’s attachment to a future where your smile and health have value.
And something even more important: Our children. Place your attachments on the readiness, knowledge, preservation, strength and compassion for our children. Trying to predict what will happen next, for their sake, will only pigeonhole them into a future they might not have created for themselves. Giving them anxiety through endless predictions of a future that will never come to pass in the ways we predict is not proper spiritual flossing.
We must consciously attach ourselves to the right perspective. Love. The cultivation of critical thinking and imaginative thought. The development of creativity and innovation. Attach yourself to that. Attach yourself to flexibility and nimbleness. Attach yourself to inner balance. Teach our children the skill of standing on ground that constantly shifts beneath our feet. Teach them though your example how to attach themselves to peace.
And remember to floss your teeth. All shall be well.
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