There's No Turning Back Now

I have spent the past two days at orientation.  It was a real eye-opener.  The first day of classes is tomorrow. "Education Across the Lifespan" will be my first class at ANTS. I am actually doing this. It was only six months ago to the day that I realized I must do this and now I'm looking at a stack of books and a student id with my giddy face laser marked into the glossy white surface.  I am already $5,000 deeper in scholastic debt (I got a few thousand in scholarships from the school) and it's only the beginning.

I just dove into this experience headfirst.  I never even knew how long the program was, how much it would cost, how many credits I needed, and most of all, what kind of seminary I wanted to attend.  I knew a couple people at Rollstone who had attended ANTS so I just decided to go there.  Other schools never occurred to me.

I went into this experience not worrying a whit about any of the details.  I knew that they would be worked out in the necessary time and all I needed to do was decide to go.  I really was trying to put my money where my mouth is on all the advice I give people about "Pick a destination and drop an anchor of thought there.  Decide what you want and make the decision final in your mind.  Then have faith that the Universe will conform to your decision.  Don't look at the soil where you've planted a seed after only two days and say, "Why is nothing happening?" LOTS is happening, you merely can't see it.  Have faith that things are conspiring on your behalf behind the scenes and leap! The net will appear."

Making the decision to answer my call was a huge leap.  I knew I could never put it back in the tube again.  But the other night as I went to bed before the first day of orientation, I thought to myself, "I could back out now still.  It wouldn't be quitting, it would be merely not starting."  I knew I wouldn't but the thought was appealing.

Now that I'm ready to begin, I couldn't be more excited.  I know why I was brought to Andover Newton.  It is the perfect school for me.  I fit in beautifully and I know that I'm not even the most radical thinking Christian by far on the campus!  Every obstacle has fallen away throughout this entire process and I have to just accept the fact that this is what I'm doing with my life.

I am now a graduate student.  God help me.