Hopeful Thinking

Like many of us, I’ve made a few less-than-intelligent choices in my life. Most have caused no lasting repercussions, but others I’ve had to work to avoid living in a constant state of regret over the harm they’ve caused. Generally, it’s been only harmful to me, but not always. Nothing terribly major. Some hurt feelings here and there, but enough to make me feel guilty. And I have an unfortunate tendency to ruminate on things like that. Some of my less-than-optimal actions become guilt-fodder for decades, despite the fact that they weren’t all that bad in the first place. Once, years ago, I paid a compliment to a local store owner for the renovations she’d made inside her shop. I followed up by saying, “and now you can do something about the exterior.” Not only was that rude on its own, but what I hadn’t realized was that she’d just finished the exterior renovations that week and I hadn’t even noticed them on the way in. She was immediately hurt. This, of course, was no earth-shatterin...

Most of us feel fairly helpless when it comes to the world's problems. Some are compelled by their concern to participate in an endless stream of action. For others, the enormity of the problem overwhelms to the point of inaction. Many of us fall in the middle.  But I’ll take this opportunity to point out something I deeply believe to be true. Every single one of us alive on this planet contributes to the forward evolution toward eventual and inevitable peace on earth.  Yes, that is my radical optimism talking. But to be honest, I don’t see any evidence that truly supports the contrary. We are built to move forward. Even our setbacks eventually propel us further. Think about it for a bit. We even make a point of reminding ourselves that this is the prevailing human paradigm with every underdog story we tell, every mythology, prophet’s tale, and salvation story. They constantly remind us of our aspirations and capacity.  It is a cha-cha, of course. Two steps forward, one s...

It’s because of the size of our heads. Well, our brains, actually. When humans began to walk upright, the birth canal became too small to allow for full development to occur inside the womb. Human babies are born far more vulnerable than any other mammal because of it.  That created a particular brain wiring in humans that evolution favors: co-suffering. That is to say, when we witness others feel pain, we feel it too. At least, the same parts of our brain light up as those who are actually in pain.  Particular to this unique brain response is the desire to do something about it. We are literally wired to feel the suffering of others and take action. Even to the point of sacrificing ourselves, and sometimes even dying, for what we believe in. For what we believe in is almost always related to the care and protection of those we love. To prevent their suffering, and thereby our own.  It all comes from the deep biological need to make sure that our particularly vulnerable o...

My grandmother Madelon was a truly lovely woman. Elegant. Dressed very well but never to the point of drawing attention. She’d sing “I love you, a bushel and a peck…” from Guys & Dolls and never kiss us just once when five or six pecks in a row were possible. We all adored her.  Gram always taught us to follow our intuition. She never made a big deal about it, but whenever the opportunity presented itself to reinforce the idea, she never failed to do so. From an early age this always made me wonder about the power, purpose, and, of course, even the existence of, our human intuition. But if Gram said it existed, then it existed. She did not exaggerate, gossip, or overdramatize. So, with the exception of her occasional superstitious beliefs such as hiding your mother’s dish towel to get rid of a wart, we generally took her words at face value. I believe we all possess a skill we might refer to as intuition. But I won’t claim to determine the source of it. Some may deem it to be ...

Long story short, we were driving home from our church organist's daughter's college graduation party, literally over a river and through the woods, when we happened upon a chicken just taking its first steps in the process of crossing the road.  I couldn’t help myself. I slowed down considerably, of course, but I also lowered the window, and asked the chicken why it was crossing the road. The chicken gave no discernible reply. Yes, it was a bit silly.  Here’s the strange thought that followed: I was kind of proud of myself for having thought to ask, in spite of the absurdity. In all seriousness, it made me wonder how often do we ask people about what it’s like to be them? I could of course infer on my own the motivations for the chicken’s willingness to traverse the dangerous pavement with nothing but a driver’s attention between itself and a car tire. But my guess would be that my imagination cannot really tell me what it’s like to be a chicken. Drawing an inference would be...

I heard an argument recently about non-believers receiving holy communion in church. In Catholicism, it is explicitly warned against giving communion to non-Catholics. In other types of Christian churches, the rule varies, but widely. The case in favor of giving communion to all rests on the welcoming and hospitable nature of Christianity’s central figure, Jesus of Nazareth. Full stop. Yet, referencing the apostle Paul, I read one pastor’s opinion that giving communion to non-believers is not only wrong, it’s cruel.  Might that be a starkly anti-Jesus rendering of Paul’s intent? Paul says that we should be “worthy” to receive it, not necessarily be a “believer.” Now define worthy. (I’ll wait…) Now define believer. (I won’t bother to wait.) This, however, is not a bash at Catholicism. Even knowing its conflicts and crimes, there is also elegant and meaningful theology there and a sense of belonging, comforting tradition. I am speaking of individual interpretations that need some fin...

What does it mean to belong? Does it feel good? Safe? What does it mean to be a part of something? A circle of friends, a company, a club, a family?  Relationship is the most important aspect of the human experience. Necessary for our survival, for our happiness, our safety. As a concept, relationships have many versions. Among them are romantic, platonic, family, various levels of friendship from acquaintance to besties, and even “friends with benefits.” But one thing is certain, each of them has the potential to instill a sense of belonging within us.    Many know that I formerly ran a youth mentorship program called the Tribe. When I started mentoring kids after school I didn’t do it with the conscious thought to create belonging. If you had asked me if I thought belonging was important, of course I would have said yes. But it was not the underlying theme of reasoning behind the creation of it. At least, not consciously. Over time, I began to see a pattern in the ...

How many would agree with me when I say that I feel like I’m operating at about 65%? Tasks seem to take about a third more effort than I often feel I have to give them. Or at least a third more than I used to have.  Ironically, in many ways, I feel as if my life is much less complicated now since the beginning of the pandemic. Unnecessary pressures I used to put on myself I no longer do with such emphasis. Places I used to feel obligated to go and activities in which I felt obligated to participate feel much less important than they used to. Some of them will return, but they will be less mindlessly done. Personal progress.  However, there is a consequence to this natural sifting and sorting we are doing in our society right now. There are emotional, and therefore functional repercussions for having nowhere to turn where the effects of the pandemic have not left their mark. Every single thing in our society has been held up for consideration.  It’s Marie Kondo on a global...

Not long ago, I watched a video online about our electromagnetic connection with the earth. Of course, all of these types of things are subject to actual scientific scrutiny. A video I came across online does not qualify as a peer-reviewed scientific article. Let’s remember to keep all things we see in perspective. However, it does pose an interesting thought. And something which aligns with our current understanding of even the magnetic sphere which surrounds our planet. All of this around us is electromagnetic in nature. Everything has polarity. Including our cells and organs. The elements all have polarity. And the overflowing abundance of that we see every time we shock our finger on a door knob or witness a bolt of lightning. The very atoms in our bodies are held together by the same force. There is a bit of advice in this: Come into contact with the earth. Physically. Literally. Regularly. Touch the earth and discharge the excess electricity within you. Draw from the earth the ty...

Did you know the origin of Christianity is actually a life practice? A way. Not specifically a belief (although belief is very much a part of it), but more a way of being. Not a dogma. But a dharma. A dharma, in the instance, is a life practice. A set of rules we choose to follow for good living. A simple set of ethical guidelines for being in good relationship with ourselves, others, the Earth and with God. Ways of leaving the Earth a little more loving than we found it. Not a requirement of belief, so much as a reminder of how to gently and lovingly be. The Golden Rule is a perfect example of a dharma. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Be as kind to other people as you want them to be kind to you. Simple rule, but with very complex concepts behind it, upon which we may meditate for the rest of our lives.  When you look at the words and actions of Jesus, there’s a dharmic pattern of teaching which emerges with six different categories. He taught the life practices...

I decided to look up the frequency of the use of the word transparent. I had a suspicion that it had increased. I was correct. Since 2000, the word transparent has steadily increased in usage in a long, single uptick, not seen in the history of its recorded use.  Throughout the history of the word transparent, the number of times the word pops up in literature, media, and daily speech has gone up and down over time, generally up. But since around the year 2000, it has snowballed in use without stopping.  Without being a sociologist or linguist myself, I do feel that the need for such a word has increased over the last 50 years in particular. In the mid-20th century we truly began to get a handle on the type of corruption that could exist in elected government. We had become complacent with our system. And while most public servants are honorable, unless they are visible, it’s very easy to run amok with power.  We are increasingly dissatisfied with people making decisions ...

So what’s it all for? Why are we here? What are we supposed to be doing? Why are we supposed to be doing it? One of my favorite things about humans is that we are not programmed for blind obedience. We are not willing to just be told to do something, or think something. Or believe something. Or be something without understanding why. Not just why, but what’s in it for me? That’s called buy-in. We want buy-in.  And so when considering the meaning of life, we often look to religion and say: so what’s in it for me? Even those who practice altruism are doing it because it fulfills something in them. We expect to feel good when we do good. And so here’s the buy-in for the purpose of life: It’s to make things better. I often think of it as doing what you can toward raising the vibration of the universe, even though I can’t tell you exactly what that might really mean. But it’s my way of thinking about rising the tide so that all the boats go up.  The clue to why I believe that this ...

In 1975, a man by the name of Mihály Csíkszentmihályi coined the term “flow” for observation in the field of psychology. It began for him as a curiosity years before. He noticed that artists had a tendency to become completely engrossed in their work. Painting or creating for hours, even days, on end. Sometimes not sleeping, rarely eating, or bathing. Not just disregarding, but ignorant of the mundane entirely. They somehow had an ability to achieve a near-trancelike state while performing a task which they felt called to do. Many of us, probably all of us, at one time or another have experienced a bit of flow. A feeling of being so engrossed, so attuned with your task that even time has no real meaning. That’s flow. That’s being “in the zone.” This sweet spot occurs when a particular balance is achieved. We are more engrossed by tasks that are just challenging enough to keep things interesting. An engrossing challenge doesn’t exceed our skills, it matures them.  It’s like surfing ...